This is a tremendous “duh.”

Strange times.

Funny and relatable for me.

She’s one serious piece of work. Her latest piece of shit in the NY Times is being so roundly ridiculed I have to chime in.

OK, here it is. I find MoDo physically attractive, and even potentially intellectually attractive. I’m sorry. Not her writing, which is a freak show in the context of intelligent politics, but the brains behind the high school narrative, which, let’s face it, no one does better, and those brains and obviously wasted talent are at least intriguing.

I’ve wished it before: One of my small dreams is to see someone ask MoDo on national TV if she knows who Molly Ivors is. Molly, a married teacher who seems completely sane, clever, and smart, of almost indisputable “normal” repute, has made it a bit of a hobby to poke fun at Maureen, and I love every one of ’em, except today’s, because I’m rusty on my Jane Austen.

I should pick Jane back up, if only to stay current with MoDo’s childish ways. The problem is that Maureen will come up with some other weird vehicle with which to propagate her adolescence, at age 40-something or more.

So, I’m offering to take one for the team. While I know my feminist readers (LOL…I don’t have ANY readers, but it’s fun to pretend) will be horrified and offended by the notion, war is hell, and someone has to do it. So I volunteer to try to fuck and talk some sense into Maureen Dowd.

I know, I know, like I have some magic dick or something. That isn’t it. It’s just that someone has to try. I know I don’t have enough money or fame or looks for this to be anything other than a joke of a fantasy, but dammit, someone has to try.

She is potential lost, and she’s not so old that it can’t be recovered. It’s a public service I’m talking about here.

Evidently, none of the rich, handsome and famous are good enough for Maureen, so what the hell. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and being single about as long as Maureen, longer if it comes to counting “dating,” I’m forced with no other moral choice than to jump on Maureen’s rhetorical grenades. For the good of us all.

I like interesting and strong women. MoDo is certainly those, despite her misdirected power. She’s a crazy bitch, but I think I can change her. I see the lack of love in her heart and life, and I personally would like to try to dig some of it out back on to the surface. I think I could be her Jesus.


Update: Being physically and intellectually attractive is only 50%. The other 50%, conservatively, is being spiritually and emotionally attractive. MoDo gets really bad scores on the latter two. It would be, therefore, very difficult for her to capture my heart. No need to worry about me.