…just go ahead and tell us you were repeatedly raped in prison and you subsequently have a terrifically tough time dealing with normal sexual behavior, you know, the “not rape” kind. We would TOTALLY understand that.

I also, too think that McCain’s media image can be rehabilitated (just not in the history books) by a confession that he’s about the biggest martyr-whore that ever walked the planet. “You know,” McCain says, laughing off his documented flip-flop on life itself, “this elected representative, marry-an-heiress thing kicks huge ass” would be just about enough to cleanse him in at least one voter’s eyes.*

Obligatory and sincere disclaimer: I believed in McCain once. I got my news from TV.**

Seriously, this is embarrassing stuff.

They’re quotes, people. Yes, they are “taken out of context.” *cough* But they are in such direct contradiction with each other without even the need for context, because they’re so diametrically opposed, context is rendered irrelevant.

Get it?

*You know, the world as we have it not want it…

**see, “shark, jumped, TV news”

And why it’s really the only TV news show one need bother with. 100% non-partisan, and a beautiful display of how the GOP has, in the end, won the debate.

People tend to blame coaches and Presidents a lot. Just never themselves, because the minute one of these guys proposes it, huge numbers of the country say simultaneously, “I want it, but we can’t afford it, and we can’t raise taxes to pay for it,” and fail to see any irony or “penny wise, pound foolish” in it all. All the while POURING money into the pockets of those ripping [you] off, truly paying the proverbial landscaping nut on some 3rd homes with the political idiocy.

Wars, however, are “necessary.” We could have hardwired and supertransed and bought near-personal MRI machines for the entire country with what we blew in Iraq and Afghanistan.

We should be the world leader in Supertrains (a long time ago), we should never build a public building without wind/solar on the property, we should rebuild our power grid, information grid, bridges and sewers; these are simply several of those problems the fabled and deified “free market” God cannot solve.

So, a big FU to those getting in the way, you fucking assholes.

Update. The bit by Stewart deserves viral status, it’s so good. So pass it along.

Update 2: Edited for moronitude and bad English.

Update 3: Strength doesn’t come from having the biggest military dick to swing around indiscriminately, it comes from within. Which for some reason most people get on a personal level.

Thanks for the tip, Josh. Jaysus!!!!! Duh!

Stewart also, as usual, captured my sentiments concisely.

I’ll give Mr. Yoo one thing, early in the interview, after being asked by Stewart if he’s a good lawyer, he says, paraphrasing, those who can’t, teach.

What a horrible human being.

One suddenly clearly and epiphinatically understands, “First, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

The H-STUPD virus is unstoppable.

What, you bring 500 pages of text to a 10-15 minute interview, cite specific page numbers (432!) on the very topic you know you’re going to be asked about, and you can’t find the pages you’ve called out? Which pages your interviewer has clearly read?

What, are they not fucking NUMBERED?

The reason why J. Stewart is the best interviewer on the Great Tube of Learning is because he has CIVIL DISCOURSE.

And he’s nobody’s fool. Ask Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala.

Update: Would H-STUP!D or H-STUP1D virus been better? Yes, I talk to myself from time to time. And my cats. But at least I’m looking at things realistically and rationally.

Update 2: In proper context, I should make sure it is understood that in the center of my own universe, me, we won’t get past H-STUPD over the course of the rest of my life. 20-30 years if I’m lucky.

Stewart gets it right again.

The stupid is actually a little awe inspiring. And I do believe we have inadvertently invented some sort of weird, pathological and economically useless (except to Media Man) perpetual motion machine, the way this shit gets repeated and amplified.

Maybe we’ve gone Galt and aren’t noticing.

I DO believe that the neocon argument for killing hundreds or thousands of Iranians is off the table, provided they (the neocons AND the Iranian leaders) don’t do anything suicidal, which I firmly believe Men of Power are not. And that Obama is not a moron.

Look at these people. I don’t care that it’s a joke. They’re people.