Like Amanda, I wonder what kind of cred I need amongst the geniuses who decide who I am to qualify as a “real American.”

I spent all my formative years (3-19) in rural IL. We didn’t lock houses, my Mom left the keys to the car in the ignition, we had a dead camper in the gravel driveway, shoes and shirts were basically an outcome of sports, school, or cold weather, we were surrounded by miles of corn and soybeans, above-ground pools, all-white, 4 Churches at least in a metropolis of <2000, playing whatever games or sports were in season or we could invent, first SO an actual farmer's daughter, having a hundred parents, walking or bicycling everywhere, several miles on foot from time to time, local carnival the Big Event, people taking care of people in general, a truly Republican wet dream and voting bloc.

It's pretty hard not to get offended by weirdo douchebags like Ivy-League Boy Ross Douthat trying to tell me who a real American is.

Unless Ross wants to claim that real Americans are morons.

I swear to FSM that the only problems I had with Palin are that she’s the perfect realization of every woman of whom Ross never thought was worthy in H.S., pretty and getting everything from that and her ability to leverage it, ultimately 100% unconcerned about how you faired w/r/t how she treated you, a goddamn beauty queen-cum-5-college-“journalism” major for FSM’s sake, a classic mean-girl bitch, stupid and uninterested to boot. There are 20 women within one degree of me personally that I would rather have POTUS.

Sarah, in short, is not someone you want to drive the bus, as it were.

I just don’t understand why that makes me less of a real American. And nothing quite gets me as prickly than being called, directly or not, “elite” or even implied unpatriotic. My knee-jerk reaction is a very emphatic “Fuck you.”

Ross has a NY Times column, and that is why I’m 75% cash.

(Well, to be fair to Ross, the idea that Bill Kristol has a job or 5 is also pretty good reason to believe the Apocalypse is upon us.)

The “debate” is starting to be entirely irritating and tiring to me.

Think of all the problems we could solve, including the primary one about whether or not waterboarding is torture, if we just waterboarded everyone who supported it.

Secondary benefits are legion. Supreme Court nominee with vague answers to litmus test questions? Waterboard! Evasive answers by anyone under oath? Off to the board! Police-suspect disputes? 45 degrees and some water down your neck, baby!

Bill Kristol, Dick Cheney, any number of torture enthusiasts? (I’m looking at you, Ron Christie, since you’re not even an effective shill.) Let’s just waterboard them because. They’re not concerned about it, clearly, so why should we be?

The debate would be over soon either way. Why not? Let’s not be hypocritical about it. If it is going to be or should be “policy,” in some people’s pussified souls, we should make it policy (at least for those who think waterboarding is peachy) and move the fuck on.

My FSM, we’re going to paying for the Bush Administration for decades. The Stoopid (and pathetically cowardly) is pandemic.

Update: Yes, it is a bad, bad world out there. The trick is to not make it badder.

John C. has a doozy, and his link to K. Layne is a must read.

Kristol’s hiring caused my cancellation of TIME, and apparently there were others.

I wonder if the NY Times had a similar lost reader problem.

The man is so wrong so consistently he makes the Catholic Church look ahead of our times.

Here he posits, typically second-handedly, that the McCain campaign was blindsided by the toughness of the infamous Couric-Palin interview, as well as pointing to someone who “called it.”

Here is a piece of the brutally tough Couric interview, which included such gotcha questions as, “What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?” (Besides Roe v. Wade) Sarah couldn’t really answer it. Exxon v. Valdez? Brown v. Board of Education? How about Plessy v. Ferguson? She couldn’t name one.

What a meanie Katie was!

And no Rich Lowry post about Palin would be complete without this classic:

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It’s one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O’Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, “Hey, I think she just winked at me.” And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.”

Like li’l Richie, I knew when she winked at us she wanted me.

Meritocracy is clearly dead at the once respected National Review. And Rich, “We’re Winning” Lowry is an embarrassment to people who work for a living everywhere. (Note the date on the post. Also do take time to read Part III of the classic HTML Mencken series on the genius that is Rich Lowry.)

I hate being embarrassed for people.

In a race for most frequently wrong famous pundit, Bill Kristol and Rich Lowry finish in a tie for first.

Update: Rich just keeps bringing the hits. Is there a better example of a more unqualified opinion leader?

At what point does being wrong all the time make one look in the mirror about what one is pontificating?

Or their consciouses? Or some combination of both?

As I like to say, one of the great things about the last 8 years is learning that I’m intellectually qualified to run wars, political campaigns, and even national political policy. And it would be a piece of cake for me to be a political TV host, if Sean Hannity is any indication. Unless teh stoopid is a requirement for the job. Hmmm…uh-oh.

That’s because I couldn’t dumb myself down far enough to reach the levels of teh stoopid and un-self-conscienceness that are regularly exhibited by such famous geniuses as Doug Feith, Bill Kristol, and any number of right-wing bloggers, among others.

And now, Andrew Card. Perhaps he could clear himself by offering something along the lines of, “Look what happened when the Republicans controlled all four (Cheney) branches of government.” That I could live with.

The Grey Lady. The paper of record. A font of wisdom, usually portrayed as crazy leftist.

Except that they have the always-wrong Bill Kristol on the payroll.

Here, The Editors call for a new blogger ethics panel. Because of course, bloggers don’t fact-check like the New York Times. (Adding that I have long given up on Bill Kristol’s grasp of or interest in the “facts.”)

Christ.

At YKos, a prominent TIME person told me to renew my subscription.  “We want you back,” this person said.

I said, “Bill Kristol?” 

Then I asked, after a few more drinks, “Are you telling me I’m not the only one that cancelled their subscription (Ed:  Mine was 20 years or so) because you hired B.K.?”

“You’re not the only one.”

And now ol’ blood-loving, wrong every time Bill Kristol gets a job at the “liberal” NY Times.  One thing I love about the “intellectual” moniker, pause for money quote:

“The idea that The New York Times is giving voice to a guy who is a serious, respected conservative intellectual — and somehow that’s a bad thing,” Rosenthal added. “How intolerant is that?”

…that gets passed around so liberally, *cough* is that if Bill Kristol is defined as an “intellectual,” I’m among the smartest people on the fucking planet.  If I were as wrong as Kristol has been, as consistently as he as been, about as many things as he has been, I would’ve been on an unemployment line about 15 years ago.  I don’t have a wingnut welfare gig, nor a famous father, nor a love of war (thus ratings, thus money).

Thanks to Dr. Black, who also has this right.  When your world-view is as grossly twisted as Kristol’s, “intolerance” is a laughable criticism.  Respected by whom?  Other war-crazed, blood-loving–as long as it isn’t his–xenophobes?

My America is better than Bill Kristol’s.  And tougher, stronger, and smarter.

We are doomed as a nation when complete bloodthirsty lunatics get space on the NY Times Editorial page.  My money is in cash.

Bill Kristol:  Greatest patronage welfare recipient of all-time.

Kudos to the NY Times for showing their true colors. 

Vote with your wallet.

Update:  This is what I need to do to get a job at the New York Times?  Insinuate they should be prosecuted?  Rip them a new one?  Sign me the fuck UP.