First one I’ve bothered with.

Rick Santorum is a douche. Ron Paul is consistent, if loony. Rick Perry is an empty suit. Mitt Romney is a professional candidate. Newt Gingrich can suck my dick on all kinds of issues. Michele Bachmann is a lunatic.

Ladies and gentleman, your Republican field.

Free market! Science! (We’re talking about where to dispose of our nuclear waste, the most pressing issue of our times.)

Foreclosure! Santorum: TARP sucked! Perry: Fuck you! Perry: Regulations suck! And I’ll prove it! Santorum: Fuck you! Nice master debating. Romney: The free market rules! Cain: I supported TARP, but Obama screwed the pooch. Get government out of the way! Bachmann: Bargletti blargh blargh blargh…losing nest, husbands suck, woman losing houses, I love women losing houses, Obama is a failure, I’ll go all socialism and we’ll create jobs and nobody will lose their house.

OWS! Cain says it’s all your fault you’re not rich. Paul says don’t blame the victims, and then does. Comes across as a populist.

Ron Paul’s suit doesn’t fit all that well.

[Ed: I hate these people, though not personally.]

I can’t stand it, and I’m out. Sorry about the short live debating, you two readers.

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