Updated.

The Original, according to www.PrayerCross.com.

THE LORD’S PRAYER (ALL CAPS their’s)

OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY NAME. THY KINGDOM COME, THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD. AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US, AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL. AMEN.

Modernized: Thank you, FSM, you’re a God to us. They’ll get theirs not only after, but before they die. Don’t like being hungry, so some food would be great. And because most of us trespass, we should try not to judge other’s trespasses, plus we should stay out of bars without our spouses/SO’s, and please save us from people like Bundy, Dahmer, Gacy and Cheney. Clearly, that kind of thing is up to You.

The old one is $19.99 for two. Mine only costs $17.99, and you only need one.

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