Like Amanda, I wonder what kind of cred I need amongst the geniuses who decide who I am to qualify as a “real American.”

I spent all my formative years (3-19) in rural IL. We didn’t lock houses, my Mom left the keys to the car in the ignition, we had a dead camper in the gravel driveway, shoes and shirts were basically an outcome of sports, school, or cold weather, we were surrounded by miles of corn and soybeans, above-ground pools, all-white, 4 Churches at least in a metropolis of <2000, playing whatever games or sports were in season or we could invent, first SO an actual farmer's daughter, having a hundred parents, walking or bicycling everywhere, several miles on foot from time to time, local carnival the Big Event, people taking care of people in general, a truly Republican wet dream and voting bloc.

It's pretty hard not to get offended by weirdo douchebags like Ivy-League Boy Ross Douthat trying to tell me who a real American is.

Unless Ross wants to claim that real Americans are morons.

I swear to FSM that the only problems I had with Palin are that she’s the perfect realization of every woman of whom Ross never thought was worthy in H.S., pretty and getting everything from that and her ability to leverage it, ultimately 100% unconcerned about how you faired w/r/t how she treated you, a goddamn beauty queen-cum-5-college-“journalism” major for FSM’s sake, a classic mean-girl bitch, stupid and uninterested to boot. There are 20 women within one degree of me personally that I would rather have POTUS.

Sarah, in short, is not someone you want to drive the bus, as it were.

I just don’t understand why that makes me less of a real American. And nothing quite gets me as prickly than being called, directly or not, “elite” or even implied unpatriotic. My knee-jerk reaction is a very emphatic “Fuck you.”

Ross has a NY Times column, and that is why I’m 75% cash.

(Well, to be fair to Ross, the idea that Bill Kristol has a job or 5 is also pretty good reason to believe the Apocalypse is upon us.)