Several people have pointed out newly-minted NY Times op-ed page replacement of William “Never Met a War I Didn’t Like Or Had to Fight In” Kristol, admittedly an incredibly high bar to clear, Ross Douthat’s fabulous young man recollection of an encounter he had with a college gal.

One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend’s parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point–“Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?” she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t sure what to say, but then I wasn’t sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered–“You know, I’m on the pill…”

Now it is certain that I cannot speak for Ross, nor anyone else with any authority, our particular and often peculiar predilections being essentially infinite in their uniqueness, but I just have to add one thing, being a 50 year old guy who can now bone around corners due to the lack of *ahem* oak I once carried with me with youthful vigor, and that is this: When I was Ross’ age at the time (early-mid 20’s?), in that situation, rational or not, knowing I would regret it or not, “liking” her or not, hearing, “You know, I’m on the pill…” would’ve pretty much sealed the deal and now would be nothing but a very fond memory.

As in, mad dogs and AK-47’s admonishing my youthful desires and warning me of the consequences would have only given me pause, and I mean REALLY short pause.

A bunch of great takes from far better writers:

TBogg.

James Wolcott.

IOZ.

It’s hard (no pun intended) for me not to feel sorry for Mrs. Douthat reading that priceless little gem. Kudos are in order for Ross’ ability to control his base instincts.

Update: Not that there is anything wrong with being gay!

My great flaw as a blogger is taking too many things for obvious granted. There is absolutely no way in the world I could care less about Ross’ sexual desires…I assume they’re just as unique as everyone else’s.

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