Even though no one will read my brilliant analysis, I’ll be watching it anyway, even though McCain could come out and tell me his wife has personally promised to bail us out from our alleged financial crisis with her personal fortune and I still wouldn’t vote for him after watching the Couric/Palin interview.

Pre-debate prediction: McCain wins. Not because he actually does, but because the race is spreading, and Media Man needs a close one. Reason? Money.

I’ve decided to watch it on CNN, because they not only have some real live morons wired for instant reaction, they have some real live voter morons wired, too.

7:45. Cocktail #1 is locked and loaded.

Expectations are bad for Obama. They’re high. I’m also watching CNN because they tell me every 5 minutes they’re the best fucking team on TV.

I like Jim Lehrer, for the record.

Instant economy question! Way to go, Jim!

Obama comes out swinging.

McCain comes with the bi-partisan stuff. Hard to believe anyone would buy it anymore given his voting record, but it will probably work.

Nice job, Jim: “Let’s get back to our question.”

Obama does OK. McCain does OK, so far. Brings up Normandy, a sure winner with the youngsters.

Accountability? Puhleeasssse.

Now comes the fun: One on one.

Obama goes first: What’s good for Wall St. is good for Main St. Good joke by McCain.

Every candidate agrees! Main St. rules!

“Our best days are ahead of us.” Good thing we’ve never heard that one before.

“Get spending under control,” McCain says, as we’re about to blow $700B on a bailout for rich dudes.

Earmarks. Yawn.

Uh, John, $932M is NOT a lot of dollars.

Lifelong Ms. Congeniality. Yawn.

Tax policies, continuation of Bush’s policies. Interesting. 2nd highest corporate tax cut in the world. McCain wants to cut them. Who knows?

Republicans are loving the tax cuts! Who would’ve guessed?

57% of American Corporations pay 0 tax according to the GAO. Why isn’t Obama mentioning this?

To me, McCain wins solidly on the tax code simplification issue.

Lie! McCain lies! Obama’s $42 income tax increase is a sham of a canard of a wanker.

Gloria Borger has not issued a point yet. She must be very non-partisan.

“Cut spending!” says McCain! Obama is the most liberal voter ever! Borger casts a vote. Way to go, Gloria.

Bill Bennett thinks McCain is winning! Who woulda thunk it?

Paul Begala thinks Obama is winning! Who woulda thunk it?

Hard to watch on CNN, I have to say. Can’t keep my eyes of the scoreboard.

Fuck this. McCain wins, even though all scorecards disagree.

I have to concentrate.

Update: Look! John King is perfectly fair and balanced! Begala and Brazille thought Obama won! Bennett thought he lost! Castellanos was unworthy!

Waste. Of. Time. Think, Sarah Palin.