Since I’m usually alone, I do it fairly often, though not for dinner out of overt self-consciousness and perceived (or real) loserdom.

So, I decide to start my last day of vacation with a nice old fashioned American breakfast, two scrambled, hash browns with some onions grilled in, bacon, pancakes, OJ, and milk, at my local IHOP.

I brought the laptop for the first time ever, just in case, but there was no Wifi. So I reverted to my usual people watching and listening, a fun pastime for me.

And to what do my wondering eyes appear but a truly lovely redhead also eating alone, writing left-handed, all the way across the room from me. Younger than me, but not horribly so, I guessed, and it all boiled down to my very much wanting to talk to her. No, not even that. Just acknowledge her.

Couldn’t do it. I thought about buying her breakfast secretly on the grounds of a daily random act of kindness towards beautiful women, and I couldn’t even do that.

It’s easy to rationalize my fear away. One doesn’t often see lovely women eating alone, even at breakfast, and this is probably due in no small part to the fear of being approached by creepy old men like me. She also looked busy, though I would’ve too had the laptop been engaged. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t.

She was not dressed for work.

I feel like an idiot, because I hate succumbing to fear. I regret failing, at least, to pay for her breakfast anonymously. It would’ve been a simple thing to do. Just pay for it and leave. Completely non-intrusive, nice, polite, selfless. I was out before she was.

Argghh.

Loser? It’s a fair call.

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